發刊日期:2003-10-12
發刊期數:第214期  發刊頻率:不定期發送  發行量:93  發行者:小鹿妮妮
小鹿物語
2003 Oxford dictionary - New meanings


2003 Oxford dictionary - New meanings

1. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

2. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

3. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

4. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

5. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

6. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power...

7. Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

8. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

9. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

10. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

11. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

12. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

13. Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

14. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

15. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

16. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

17. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

18. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

19. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

20. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

21. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

22. Father: A banker provided by nature.

23. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

24. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

25. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

26. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
lilythedeer@hkbn.net

把心化為水,以身為容器

反映世界的影子

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